It has been 3 years since the passion got back and is ever burning in me. Tough trainings, tough losses, painful reality checks and so so so so so much just to achieve what i desire. Am i really that weak and incompetent? The results vis a vis hard work just seem to be at the 2 opposite ends. I have played the game for almost 10 years of my life, and up till today, nothing, nothing has exactly changed the way i desire it to be. Is it just so hard to prove that i can make it? Is it so impossible to show the people out there that i can actually be a player that is able to lift the team up from ground zero and scale greater heights, playing at the level that i want to play at? The opportunity was there on the 4th of may 2010. But we failed to grab it. I feel as though something so important in my life just vanish into nothing. I've let the team down, every single teammate, 11 of them. I have let everyone down. The teachers who so much supported us both mentally and physically. I can never forget the HtwoOs and bananas, the presence and advices from Mr Sim. The friends who encouraged and were there for every victory or setback we faced. We ran those freaking intervals, did those suicidal suicides, pushed one another so hard for each game and training, every single time we spent together on the court, track and gym. I've let these tough people down. I CANNOT CANNOT believe that it's over just like that. Why must these things happen to us? Do they deserve this? Every single time i tell myself that i have to give my best whenever i'm on that court. Every single time i tell myself that i'm representing my brothers who went through heaven and hell as one and i cannot cannot let these 11 people down. Every single time i tell myself that this is the moment for me to prove my worth and show we're no fucking pushovers. Yet it happened. Why must hope be present and become only an illusion when reality hits back. I'm tired of losing, losing the hard way.

Sitting outside the centre hearing the cheers from AC and VJ just made me felt like i am some bloody loser. It felt as though they just ripped off something worth so much. Getting back up every single time telling myself that i have so much more to prove just keeps me going. But is this ever gonna work out? Will all these things pay off someday? I try to not look at what i have achieved but what i should have achieved and make a difference in my dream, this passion which keeps me going in this life. So many questions and so little answers. This youth cup is the only chance i have left to give everything i have and try to get what i equally deserve. And i'm not doing this just for myself. Press on

Basketball,Guitar,Singing..